It has been an eternity—well, nearly, feels like
it, anyway – since I last wrote a Blog.
I wasn’t much in the mood to write.
And so I didn’t.
See, I don’t necessarily belong to those who
believe in forcing themselves through writers block or training themselves to
cram out some sort of wisdom or witty anecdotes from the recesses of their
brains.
I’ve allowed myself that luxury by NOT becoming
a professional writer.
I had a bad year for wisdom or wittiness, last
year. Stress. Lost friendship. Health
problems. Disappointment.
Now, don't get me wrong, there were some fun, exciting and amazing times, as well. No need to bathe in self-pity.
But the truth is the will to write left me.
Until today.
That’s the way it goes. Every so often, we lose our voices to the
noise outside that seem to drown them out.
Either that, or we just don’t want to hear what they have to say – your voice
can be screaming at you, but if you don’t want to listen, you look the other
way… until it knocks you over the head or creeps up at you from behind.
I have a lot of friends and colleagues who are
in the business of writing… as I used to be.
And I guess I sometimes feel the all too omnipresent pressure to
compete.
But how do you compete with the friend who won
the state book award, or the one who was invited to the White House
Correspondence dinner as a correspondence journalist?
Truth is--you don’t. You shut up until you have something to say. And then you say it quietly on the side, in a
Blog, perhaps, just so it feels like it’s getting out there somehow.
I used to write for the English page of Die Welt, among other publications. Now I write for myself.
You get to the point where you realize that
doing anything for anyone else, unless, of course, you’re committed to charity,
is pointless. And even if you do it for
charity, you are also volunteering out of the feeling of goodness at the end.
I feel great when I write, but only after having
written something from the heart. I’ve got more to add to this – but will wait
for tomorrow.
One confession at a time.
Goodnight.
